“Soft eyes, kind eyes” – Wildmind

close-up of a stone buddha head, focusing on its soft, half-open eyes.

The Buddha mentioned that it was doable to dislodge unhelpful ideas (those who make us endure unnecessarily) with the usage of extra useful ideas. He in contrast this to the way in which a carpenter may dislodge wood peg out of a gap by hammering a smaller peg towards it.

This precept is extremely helpful in meditation, and it may be employed in numerous methods. One widespread software of that is the usage of mantras, which may be chanted out loud or repeated within the thoughts. A mantra akin to Om Mani Padme Hum, when repeated on this means, leaves much less psychological area for pondering. The mantra is a thought that, like a small pin utilized skillfully, dislodges the bigger pin of ideas which are unhelpful as a result of they’re expressions of fear, resentment, self-doubt, and so forth.

Additionally see:

Whilst you’re chanting a mantra you won’t discover a lot occurring, however afterward you’re feeling calmer and extra relaxed since you’ve given your mind and physique a break from ordinary patterns of thought that chip away at your sense of well-being.

Generally the pegs we use as instruments will not be conventional Sanskrit mantras, however are phrases in English. I discover that these are handiest after they level us towards our expertise.

A set of phrases I exploit quite a bit is “Tender Eyes, Open Subject of Consideration; Sort Eyes, Assembly Every part With Tenderness.” I’d like to clarify why and the way I exploit these 4 specific phrases.

First, the Why

“Tender Eyes”: If you understand something in any respect about my educating from the final ten years or extra, you’ll bear in mind that I virtually at all times begin a guided meditation by reminding folks to melt the eyes.

“Tender eyes” means letting the muscle mass across the eyes be relaxed, and letting the main focus within the eyes be delicate. You possibly can attempt that proper now, though you may wish to look away from the display screen. You’ll most likely discover that that is virtually immediately enjoyable, and that your thoughts turns into calmer in a short time.

Our minds are sometimes on edge, roaming restlessly, on the lookout for some drawback that we have to take note of. In different phrases they’re managed a lot of the time by the sympathetic nervous system, accountable for the so-called “struggle or flight” reflex. A lot of this problem-seeking includes the eyes, which keep narrowly centered and that are in fixed movement.

Softening the eyes (delicate focus) and letting them be nonetheless (the muscle mass round them being at relaxation) triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, which brings our system again to calm, relaxation, and rest.

With tight eyes, and the sympathetic nervous system lively, we discover that even in meditation the thoughts continues to be problem-solving. It’s restlessly choosing by varied features of our lives, on the lookout for these issues we’re nervous about, offended about, depressed about, and so forth. There’s a number of distraction.

With delicate eyes, and the parasympathetic nervous system activated, the thoughts feels safer and loses its restlessness. It not wants to search out issues to resolve. And so it does much less pondering. There’s much less distraction.

So because of this I say, “Tender Eyes.” It’s a reminder for us to let the eyes be delicate.


(The video above introduces the follow of “delicate eyes.”)

“Open Subject of Consideration”: The ordinary tightness we feature round within the eyes, with its narrows focus, results in us fixating on a really slim a part of our visible area. After we shut the eyes in meditation, we preserve this slim focus in our interior area of consideration.

I’ve usually requested meditators to “draw” over the floor of the physique what it’s they’re observing after they’re doing “mindfulness of the respiration.” As a result of they’ve tight eyes and a slim focus. most point out a really small space, which doesn’t supply sufficient sensation for the thoughts to grow to be fascinated by and absorbed in. And they also discover they get distracted quite a bit.

When the eyes are delicate, our interior area of consideration is gentler and extra open. Our consideration is extra expansive and receptive. We discover that we’re in a position to sense many sensations of the respiration without delay. We might even discover that we will concentrate on the entire physique respiration. It is a very wealthy expertise. it’s fascinating and we discover it absorbing. It’s simpler for us to maintain observing the respiration with out getting distracted on a regular basis.

“Tender eyes” triggers an “open area of consideration.” One observe naturally from the opposite. Nonetheless, it’s good to remind ourselves to note what’s in our open area of consideration.

Saying “Open area of consideration” is a reminder to let our interior area of consideration be expansive and receptive, and for us to note the unimaginable richness that’s arising there.

“Sort Eyes”: Saying “sort eyes” is a means of bringing kindness into our present-moment expertise. We will recall a time we seemed with love — at a baby, a lover, a pal, a pet — and let the eyes grow to be sort now, as they have been then. After some time we not must entry that form of reminiscence. We will merely bear in mind what it’s wish to have sort eyes, and drop again into that have.

In saying “sort eyes” we’re directing our consideration again to the eyes, reminding ourselves to attach with kindness.

“Assembly Every part With Tenderness”: Simply because the eyes being delicate adjustments our interior area of consideration, inflicting it to be extra open, expansive, and receptive, so letting the eyes grow to be sort adjustments the way in which we listen internally. On this case it brings heat, endurance, kindness, compassion, and acceptance into our expertise. We will discover that we meet our distractions, our emotions, and even painful sensations with heat.

Saying “assembly the whole lot with tenderness” reminds us to convey kindness deeply into our being.


(The video above makes use of barely completely different phrasing. Extra about that beneath.)

The How

I exploit the respiration to tempo how rapidly or slowly I drop these phrases into the thoughts, and to assist hold my thoughts on monitor.

Pacing means balancing saying and listening.

Saying the phrases directs our consideration to those varied elements of our expertise: softening the eyes, noticing the richness that’s arising in our open area of consideration, letting kindness come up, and and bringing kindness into our complete being.

But when we’re talking on a regular basis, we would not be permitting ourselves to really be with these experiences. We would not likely discover them. We would not be permitting ourselves to go deeply into them.

We’re mainly simply speaking to ourselves, and never letting ourselves have an opportunity to really feel.

So usually I’ll say one of many phrases on an out-breath, after which go away two or three cycles of the respiration the place I say nothing, and as an alternative merely observe the expertise that the phrase is pointing to.

Then I’ll drop within the subsequent phrase, and so precisely the identical factor. And I’ll proceed like that by all 4 phrases, after which repeat.

Nonetheless, if I’m significantly distractible I’ll tighten up the pacing. If I’ve been dropping in a phrase each third breath and hold getting distracted, I’ll begin dropping within the phrases each two breaths. If I’m actually distractible, then I would say a phrase on each breath. As I mentioned above, this has the disadvantage that it doesn’t go away a lot time for being with our precise expertise. However it’s higher to try this than to get regularly distracted.

Conversely, if issues are going nicely then I would drop within the phrases much less usually. I would get to the purpose the place I don’t even say the phrases; I simply do what they’re describing (noticing delicate eyes, noticing the physique, noticing kindness within the eyes, bringing that kindness to satisfy each expertise).

So there’s scope on this follow for fine-tuning as you go, adapting to altering circumstances.

I additionally generally change the phrases. Generally as an alternative of “delicate eyes, open area of consideration” I’ll say “delicate eyes, physique alive.” It’s mainly the identical factor, besides that within the second case I’m extra explicitly directing my consideration towards the contents of the open area of consideration. And generally as an alternative of “assembly the whole lot with tenderness” it’ll be “assembly the whole lot with love” or “assembly the whole lot with love.”

Though folks generally assume that every one pondering in meditation is to be prevented, pondering can be utilized consciously as a instrument. Ideas can direct our consideration towards our speedy sensory expertise. Thought may help drive out ideas and quiet the thoughts.

You possibly can mess around with this instrument as nicely. Make it your personal. Discover out what works for you.

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